Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My balls are so social today.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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