i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
