After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
