WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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