I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
