Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
