Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
