She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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