See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
