Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
