Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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