i don't plan on having that self control this summer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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