You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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