"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
