u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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