My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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