and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
