Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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