I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's official drugs can't kill me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
