Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
