It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
