white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
