Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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