am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
