It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
