Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so let's talk penis.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
