Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
