I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
