Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
