there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
