I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
