nut hugger
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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