oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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