Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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