He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
