I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
