you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
