good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
