But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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