Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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