I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
