Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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