someone threw a dead crab at me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
