Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
please come you make the beer taste better
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
