My nipple is on Facebook.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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