i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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