i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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