You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
