i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
