Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
