I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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