I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
